Post Surgery Update - 3 months

Time is flying by, and I am now three months post surgery.

I have been prescribed physical therapy which I'll begin upon my return to North Carolina.  I also am cleared to swim and use the elliptical.  Last night, I tried my first day back in the pool....I don't think I even have back muscles anymore, or at least, that's what it feels like.  It's tough, tougher than normal.   I guess I've been swimming regularly for about three years, and to hardly be able to anymore is discouraging.  With time, I suppose I'll improve, but I am very, very weak when it comes to using my back.  Cleaning is another obstacle I struggle with, mainly because of not being able to pick things up from the floor with great ease.  

Not too long ago, I was getting some grocery's in NC's Harris Teeter Grocery Store, where I saw an older man.  He was probably in his seventies, perhaps older.  He calls out "ma'am" and obviously I turned around, as would anybody who heard it.  I didn't know he was talking to me; it was simply a reflex.  He looked straight at me, and I noticed he had dropped his cane under his shopping cart. 

"I dropped my cane.  Are you a young and otherwise healthy woman?"

Before I could think about my answer, I reached to pick up the cane.  I could not bring myself to tell him I couldn't really bend, and all of a sudden I felt a jolt of pain that I am still paying for over a week later.  When the doctors tell you not to bend, twist, or lift after a spinal surgery, they really mean it.  I mean, I've never been one to follow specific instructions.  When I had braces, I would eat apples all the time, occasionally breaking the wire, and I was repeatedly scolded by my orthodontist.  He was still too kind to me and never made me pay, not for the braces nor the countless repairs.  But I reminded myself that this isn't like braces.  I can't just go in for a repair; that would call for surgery...again.

But there was no way I could tell that man that I was unable to help him nor would he have believed that I was not a healthy young woman.  I have recovered far too quickly for having had such an extensive surgery, and because of that, I sometimes forget the cautions I am to take.

Overall, however, my surgeon, physicians, and I are all very surprised with the progress since surgery, and for that I am thankful.  I've gotten my blood level back to normal (I lost a lot in surgery), my blood pressure isn't dropping, I'm not as dizzy (except here and there), I'm able to hold down food, the pain in manageable for the most part with rest and medication, and I can walk a good five to six miles easily.

So, at three months, I'd say, I'm doing pretty well. 

Can't wait to get back to my normal life! 



Love,
Esha

Locked My Love in a Time Capsule

Funny how things work out. 

We've all heard that phrase many a time in one form or another, and it seems to conform to just about any of life's situations...death, karma, sports, games, relationships...love.

In most situations we're familiar with, I'd say love would be it.  I'd say love is the funniest; it never seems to work out like we plan.

You know when you're fifteen, and you're with the love of your life.  You map out the future that lies ahead...for the both of you...together.  What I mean is you have your life planned out down to the last detail...the cabin in the mountains with a cobblestone driveway, a fountain out front of charcoal gray.  He picks out the housing and you get to name your two future kids, Connor and Layla, and of course that golden retriever you've always wanted.  You name him Charlie.  You argue when the love of your life says he wants you to stay at home with the kids, while he handles everything else, as the bread maker.  He just wants to come home after a long day at work to you and your two lovely children.  Yet still, you refuse.  You will be that doctor you've dreamed of being, or have you even really dreamed it?  Somewhere in all that, the details get lost (you'll argue it out later, when the time comes), because all you two care about is that you end up with each other.  One day, he tells you that he wants to wake up to see you...every single morning.  Forever.

*Name blurred out for privacy

You swear to each other than you'll be together for the rest of your lives, starting in five or say ten years.  You write love letters for one another, or record a video, so that down the road you'll remember how it all begin...that is, if you end up together.  You put it in all in a time capsule.  Maybe not.  But in some way, shape, or form, your memories are buried, deep.  Left as a small spark of hope, or perhaps even a little flame that you can never seem to quench. 

And your 15/maybe 18/perhaps even 21-year-old self thinks to yourself, "I thought when you said we'd be together forever, it meant until the day we die...I guess forever isn't as long as it used to be, is it?" 

We all want to end up with that one person, the person we first fall in love with, with whom no other love will ever compare...the feelings are just so intense...it's the first time that we know what love feels like.  A relationship full of undying passion. 

Sometimes we find ourselves comparing every relationship to that first love, hopelessly seeking a love so pure that only the young and innocent, fragile-minded person you once were could experience...long before your outlook on life became tainted by the world.    

You think to yourself...it's unfair. 

But then again, it's the most precious love you will have ever experienced, and you'll cherish it forever. 

It doesn't mean that you don't love the person you end up with as much as that first love...in fact, I think it's quite the opposite.  You'll change so much in your teens and twenties, and well into your thirties, you'll realize it was never meant to be.  

Because by then, you will have let go...and when you one day, while sitting on the couch next to someone you couldn't imagine your life without, remember all those memories that you've kept locked up for years, you'll think to yourself...

It's funny how things work out.