Often I feel like everything in my life has fallen to pieces. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better, doing better, feeling better, and in a matter of minutes everything is spiraling downwards and I'm sitting on my bed crying like a twelve year old who has just been yelled at by her parents.
I get this buildup of emotions, an argument with an ex, a phone call about my little sister's misbehavings, trying to move out on my own, stabbing pain in my back, anger towards my dad, a million phone calls, a week full of misfortune, an empty dorm over fall break leaving me feeling even more stuck in my thoughts than normal--and an email to spark my tears. My composure all gone. My food for one of the first times left untouched. My room left uncleaned. Just me and my bed. (I always have to have my bed made for moments like these.)
I could say I just want some good luck to come my way, but I know there's no genie in a bottle to grant me three wishes, or let alone one. I've learned the more I depend on myself for my happiness, the stronger and insightful I become.
Life can be really hard a lot of the time...It's how we learn and
grow...I personally would not want only good and easy times, which I can't say I've had very much of yet. I know it will come in due time. But it's the
rough stuff that makes us stronger and wiser. The pain, frustration, fears, sadness - all of it - the whole roller-coaster ride.
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