– Andre Gide
When we choose to love, we loosen our grasp on all that is known, all that is certain. It's kind of like taking a leap into the depths of the ocean, perhaps without knowing how to swim, not guaranteed you'll survive.
But even then, you know that the value of what can be is far more worth than not knowing, the safe choice, the protected heart. Blinded by emotions so heavy, you're willing to drown, to give everything for the feeling you have in mid air of your jump. You don't think about consequences. You only think of the freedom of carelessness, but how can it be carelessness...?
You are willing to jump into the majestically moving waves, all whilst knowing it might be the end of you, just for those few moments of pure happiness, freedom, and unity between both heart and mind. How rare.
There are degrees of how deep your love may be.
Like when in love, some of us choose to put our toes in the calm, frothy waves washing away the (insert name) loves (insert name) forever written in the sand. Peace. Comfort.
Others prefer to be in the depths of the relentless, raging waves and live to risk. Danger. Speed.
And the bravest of risk takers choose to jump off the boat in the middle of the endless ocean, risking all but that moment of exhilaration. And their lives can and may end right then and there, but in the end it would have provided pure satisfaction.
And more, there is always a struggle [for love]...
Some fight against the big waves, while some walk along, going no farther than the knee high depth of the ocean. And there will be many, who take the boat straight back to the dock, and get as far from the ocean as possible.
Love...an ocean...calm with the break of dawn, roaring with high noon and the beating sun.
Love...an ocean...somewhere closer to the shore, somewhere closer to nowhere but the deep sea creatures.
Love...an ocean, sometimes the view of dolphins and crystal blue water, and other times full of thundering waves and sea storms.
Love...such a volatile phenomenon.
I have yet to take my leap. However, when that risk comes along, when that time comes, not even the ocean can be deep enough for my monumental leap.
I will not choose the sandy shores. Nor will I wade merely till I face those wide eyed fish that haunt my dreams.
Who may this risk be?
I don't know.
But when time comes to take that leap, I will fight the miles and miles of endless tides. I will continue till I reach that distant horizon. The time will pass and at twilight, it will not matter that I will not be able to distinguish ocean from sky. Because there is no love without risk. There is no separation between love and risk.
Love is an ocean, and sometimes you choose the ocean and sometimes it chooses you.
I may not know how to swim. I may be lost in the darkness closing on me. Nevertheless, I will choose to take that risk and make my leap.
And if I don't come back up, then leave me to be. Love is the most vulnerable state of being, no matter what the degree of love may be. We all fear getting hurt, feelings our hearts being rung...heartbreak.
But what is love without heart break? We can cradle our hearts in the most protective manner. We can keep from ever feeling. We can stray away from the ocean into the sand.
And that safe heart, will never know what that magical, perplexing thing we call LOVE is.
That feeling of waking up and thinking you're the luckiest person in the world. That nervous feeling you get in your stomach that you can never convey, but you crave it more and more each day. That feeling of missing him or her....whom you can't imagine life without. Love...describes all those feelings. No other word can really encompass the true meaning of love as love itself.
And that love transcends.
It neither wanes nor disappears through time or neglect.
Love is a gift of the soul, and it becomes what you make of it.
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